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I admit it, I am a boring martial artist. I can’t do a flip. I do the old forms I learned twenty years ago that have been unchanged forever. I prefer my original black belt that is graying over my flashy one with stripes. I still think a good back fist to the head solves a lot of problems. But I love looking at what other styles have, partially so I can figure out how to defeat them and partially because sometimes you just have to say “Whoa. That’s cool.”

Quiet frankly the two most cool disciplines in my opinion are on the extremes: Brazilian Capoeira and Israeli Krav Maga. Maybe they appeal to different parts of my Irish-German heritage. Maybe because they are so extreme, yet each reflects the history of where it came from and so is uniquely their own. Don’t know, don’t care. Just know that I love watching each of these styles for what they are.

Brazil is well known for its enthusiasm for life and its music: rhythm is genetic heritage to Brazilians. Quite honestly I think they learn to samba before they learn to walk. So Brazil having a martial art that is rhythmically driven by drums and is as much free form dance as it is fighting is a perfect reflection of its people. I can’t dance anything more complex than the Chicken Dance, so the fluid beauty hiding the impressive power of Capoeira fascinates me, especially the sheer athleticism of some of the moves that make almost everyone gasp and say “Cool!”

The diametric opposition of this is the Israeli art of Krav Maga, born of and reflecting the psyche of its people. One of my business associates told me “We don’t make five-year plans because we believe the country is going to disappear next week.” Thus the focus on instant results driven by a desert inhabiting group always under attack: neutralize the threat with a minimum of effort and maximum effect so you are ready for the next person that attacks you. Krav Maga is precise and efficient. Succinct. Engineering instead of art. Deadly and beautiful in its simplicity, awe inspiring in its unmasked brutality and intensity. Cool in the uncoolest way imaginable.

Opposites attract, and that is why Capoeira and Krav Maga draw my attention as polar extremes of cool martial arts.

This is like a Facebook quiz, but we won’t be asking you to spam all your friends with it or exposing you to all sorts of nasty viruses and enhancement offers.  Just a fun little self test!

1. Which is your favorite technique?

A. Awesome side kick.
B. Nice boring reverse punch.
C. Paralyzing nerve strike.
D. Redirection into a joint lock.
E. I have no favorite.

2. Your belt is best described as:

A. Beautiful and trimmed in gold.
B. Faded, frayed, with some blood spots.
C. Something to hold up my pants.

3. In your last tournament fight, you won with:

A. Instant hook kick to the head.
B. Classic reverse punch to the solar plexus.
C. Back leg sweep.
D. Submission hold.
E. What’s a tournament?

4. Your forms are:

A. Innovative and beautifully complex.
B. Timeless and classic.
C. Something to be filled out in triplicate.

5. Your most advanced technique in a non-black belt form is:

A. A triple kick.
B. A grabbing elbow smash.
C. Simultaneously turning, blocking, and striking.
D. Misdirection into an arm bar.
E. All or none of the above.

6. Your safety equipment is:

A. Mouthguard.  Maybe something on hands.  Cup for a guy.
B. Like padded body armor.
C. My sidearm and knife.

7. My best weapon is:

A. My foot.
B. My hand.
C. My spirit.
D. My opponent’s energy or anger.
E. Whatever works.

8. Belts change colors:

A. As a reflection of progression through the ranks.
B. Because they get stained with sweat and blood.
C. Depending on the organization that issues them.

Now you can see what type of martial artist you tend towards.  Even numbered questions reflect the style you come from while odd ones reflect your attitude/orientation towards martial arts.

If on the even numbers you are primarily A’s, you are like me and a Tae Kwon Do (and derivatives) stylist first and foremost.  You lead with your feet.  Lots of jumping.  Probably sort of hyper too.

B’s are Karateka, they prefer their hands.  Well grounded and effective.

C’s are Kung Fu stylists.  Fluid, natural, and seeking variety.  More in tune with nature than the others, they are spiritual leaders as much as fighters.

D’s are the misdirection experts, the Aikido and Judo stylists.  Defensively oriented, they adapt to their opponents to overcome by using their adversaries against themselves.

E’s are either highly eclectic, having studied in multiple styles and being able to switch at need or will among them, or have no clue.  Each is extremely dangerous for their own reasons.

As to your attitude, if you were primarily A’s on the even numbered questions then you are a newer generation martial artist, probably raised in a tournament oriented school.  You have been exposed to a more commercial version of the martial arts than the others, and your school is more likely than not to have showers and a secretary.  You probably have at least two patches on your uniform, and it is probable that your instructor is a full time martial artist.

If you were mainly B’s you are a traditionalist.  You probably train on concrete floors at least once in a while.  You have blood spots on your uniform that you just can’t get out.  If you fight in tournaments you sometimes get in trouble because you don’t keep up with or agree with the new rules.  You have at least one good story of training in a basement or a field, and your instructor has another job besides teaching.

If you were primarily C’s I hope you are a military individual or a professional fighter.  You are all business about this in that it is your living to take other people out quickly.  Either that or you are a whack job.